We have just come through Christmas and New Years and before we realize it another special day is upon us. Valentine’s Day is a day when cards are exchanged, candies or flowers are given to those we love.
It all started many years ago when you sent your first Valentine- It may have been in Kindergarten or grade one, but this tradition of sending a valentine to someone special started many years ago and this tradition is with us to the present day. Valentine’s Day is a time we show our loved ones we care about them in forms of cards, heart shaped candies or flowers.
Death may have robbed you of your loved one, but it can never take away the relationship you had and the love you shared. This year, you can find a way to remember, honor and celebrate that eternal love on Valentine’s Day. Do something that would honour your loved one. One way of turning the difficulty of Valentine’s Day around is to re-label this day and what it stands for- Remembering and honouring those we love.
It may help to make a list of the negative feelings. Take note of your negative feelings and where they stem from. Think of ideas of turning the negative feelings of the past into positive feelings for the future. Take some time to identify your feelings and openly accept them. Feelings are not right or wrong, they are just feelings- so whatever you are feeling, it is OK.
Connecting with friends and family is always a healthy choice. You might wish to create a buddy system and agree to exchange flowers or candy with a friend. Send a card to someone whom you care about. Call someone you have not been in contact with for a while. Go out for lunch. Let those close to you know that you love them even if it’s been hard to show it recently. Volunteer or reach out to someone who might need your help today.
Walking through the mall seeing all the romantic Valentine’s cards, red roses and candies can be very painful if you have just lost the love of your life. You may be wondering how you can make it through one more holiday in one piece.
If Valentine’s Day feels too big to handle, it may be a good time to find a counselor, therapist or speak you your clergy who can help you through this difficult time. Finding a support group of other bereaved people may be a great way to open up to a community of people who understand your feelings and are able to offer you support.
Recall all of the wonderful blessings you still have in your life, and on all of the love that you still enjoy. We should all appreciate the good, and know that when bad things happen in our lives the only way forward is to move ahead—one small step at a time.
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years, working mostly on medical floors. She has journeyed with many clients who were dying, and she tried to comfort their families during this difficult time. She has completed two units of Clinical Pastoral Education.
Returning back to school she completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereavement, Death and Dying. She was enrolled eight years in lay ministry training. At present, she enjoys her role at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Yorkton in the area of parish work. For the past ten years she has also been employed at Bailey’s Funeral Home working in the area of Continuing Care.
Comments and articles may be forwarded by mail to: Margaret Anne Yost, P.0. Box 554 Melville, Sask. S0A 2P0
Or phone 1-306-621-9877 (9 am-5 pm) or at home 1-306-728-4744 (evenings).