Skip to content

How to sink a ship

To the Editor: Arrr sit ye down matey, and listen to a salty tale of how to sink a ship, right-proper like. All ye need is a couple of scurvy dogs engaged in sexual travails.

To the Editor:

Arrr sit ye down matey, and listen to a salty tale of how to sink a ship, right-proper like. All ye need is a couple of scurvy dogs engaged in sexual travails. Arrrr!

And if there's a powerful trade union involved, those scurvy dogs might just get away with their indiscretions. This is why I support unions, except when they flex their muscle to defend the indefensible.

Remember when Tom Ellison finally admitted in 2007 to having sex with his teenage students at a Vancouver high school throughout the 1970s? He was publicly humiliated, sure, and was eventually convicted of gross indecency and assault, but only served a two-year sentence of house arrest.

Of course the BC Teachers Federation had nothing to do with that miscarriage of justice. But in addition to raping girls, you might recall that Ellison also stole over a hundred canoes from his school, all which he had sold. And as long as he tracked down and returned all those canoes he was not in violation of his collective-bargaining agreement and could not be charged with theft which, ironically, would've carried a much stiffer sentence than he ended up serving for rape.

In any case, this leads to the story of the inordinate power enjoyed by some members of the BC Ferry Marine Workers Union. You'll recall how two of its members sank the Queen of the North back in 2006. Karl Lilgert was eventually fired and was charged with two counts of criminal negligence causing death because passengers Gerald Foisy and Shirley Rosette were never found. But quartermaster Karen Bricker, the woman Lilgert was having an affair with on the bridge the night of the disaster, got off scot-free.

In fact, Jackie Miller, a spokeswoman for the union insisted that Lilgert and Bricker weren't responsible for what happened, and claimed they were "two victims, just like the two people that went down with the ship." 'Scuze me? Yup, that's what she actually said. Bricker was eventually fired, but never faced charges, and the size of her severance package was never disclosed.

With this as a backdrop, any British Columbian following the story of the capsized Costa Concordia in the Mediterranean must be getting an eerie feeling of déjÀ vu.

The Italian captain of the Concordia, Francesco Schettino, was also having an affair. We don't know if he was actually carrying it out on the bridge like Lilgert and Bricker were. But he was seen drinking wine with the lovely, shapely, and much, much, MUCH younger Moldovan dancer Domnica Cemortan on the night of the disaster.

So far at least 16 people are confirmed dead and 22 remain missing, and reports are that Cemortan was on the bridge in the critical moments after the ship ran aground. You know just after Schettino instructed passengers to return to their cabins and then abandoned ship.

When my wife secured a job with the federal government she was a bit nervous. She had a lot to learn and was worried some of it might be over her head. So I reassured her by saying that as long as she didn't have sex with or kill anyone at work she'd be fine. Turns out I was wrong. If you have the right union, you CAN have sex with anyone you want at work, and even kill a few people, and still retain your job! At least for a while. And you're much less likely to be convicted in criminal court. Of course, the big difference in the case of the Costa Concordia is that Captain Schettino will not be protected by any union. The lesson, let's face it, is that unions and public service don't mix. And that my friends is why Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the father of the modern welfare state, didn't allow them in the federal government. Arr.

Mischa Popoff, Osoyoos BC.